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Bangalore: Wake up at 7am, get her two children ready for school, then prepare breakfast for her husband. This, in a nutshell, described 30-year-old Geetha’s* daily morning routine for the past eight years.

Being a homemaker, her days were relatively empty till the children — Aarti (6)* and Rahul (four and a half)* — returned from school in the evening. It had all started seeming like a colourless saga to her.

“The monotony of my life had started to scare me,” says Geetha, “and I knew I had to do something about it, soon. I became very low on confidence as I had also put on a few extra kilos.”

So, she began to look for ways to make herself feel good: “I thought of joining dance classes to have some fun and lose weight. While looking for options on the internet, I happened to come across a listing of ‘exotic’ dance classes — striptease, lap dance, pole dancing, etc — in the city.”

Without telling anyone, Geetha enrolled for striptease lessons. “I was curious and scared at the same time,” she says. “But, somehow, I knew this would bring the missing fun back into my life.”

After a month of striptease lessons, not only did Geetha start feeling good about her body, she also felt sexy. “One day when my husband came back from work, I thought I’d share my little secret with him. So, I got into a formal suit and played some sensual music to set the mood.”

Geetha’s husband didn’t understand at first what was going on. “The lights were dim, the music was good, and I was strangely very confident. I started my act. My nervousness vanished when I saw his mood shift from that of an anxious man to a pervert! He enjoyed it enormously.”

The next morning, over breakfast, Geetha told her husband about the dance lessons he had been paying for. “He just smiled and said, ‘You are the hottest girl I have ever seen’,” she says.

‘Exotic’ dances seem to have helped many such Geethas break the monotony of their married lives. Most husbands appreciate the effort made by their better halves to bring some excitement into their lives. Lourd Vijay, a promoter of Latin dance, culture, and music in Asia, says: “Exotic dances bring out the sexy side of a woman. They feel confident, sexy, and proud of their own bodies after a few lessons in striptease, lap dance, and pole dance.”

Lourd Vijay conducts these dance classes in several parts of the city. Most women who join his classes do it initially out of a sense of curiosity. After a few lessons, however, they learn more.

“At first, women who join are quite shy about moving in a certain way,” says Sneha Kapoor, instructor and principal dancer at Lourd Vijay’s dance studio. “They have too many inhibitions like I’m fat, I’m not looking good… It takes them less than a month to realise the difference in their body and confidence level.”

Kapoor has noticed many more changes in her students. “The way they walk, what they wear, the way they talk, everything changes for the better. Their confidence with respect to most things gets a solid boost.”

Though Lourd Vijay doesn’t teach the dances personally, he knows quite a few couples who have managed to save their marriage with these moves. He says: “Rahul* and Rakhi* were married for three years after which they were going through difficult times. Rakhi joined these exotic dance classes just to distract herself. She didn’t know it could do a little more than that for her.”

Rakhi demonstrated some of the moves she learnt to Rahul and, before she knew it, their marriage was back on track.

Physical intimacy and comfort are important factors in every relationship. “There are many who come to me complaining of a lack of excitement in their married lives,” says Dr Murali Raj, head of the department of psychiatry, Manipal Hospital. “I advise them to try out new things.”

Dr Raj agrees that ‘exotic’ dancing helps to bring back elements of love and passion in a marriage. “Sex is a very important aspect in a marriage,” he says. The problem creeps in when it becomes a routine. Striptease, pole dancing, etc, add something new to it and make it exciting for both partners.”

Men agree completely. DNA spoke to a few who believe that ‘exotic’ dancing has helped to enhance their relationships substantially. Ganesh*, 27, who has been married for two years, says: “When my wife did a striptease, I loved it. I appreciated her effort and also her love for me — it showed how passionate and comfortable she was with me.”

Dancing, for centuries, has been considered a courtship ritual, says Lourd Vijay. “In my opinion, any kind of dancing is the best form of self-expression. ‘Exotic’ dances help women to discover new sides to their personalities. I have students who openly talk about how their husbands and boyfriends love ‘exotic’ dancing. A few women also have poles installed in their houses!”

So, why wait to pep up your sex life? Learn to do a little bump and grind or a twist around the pole. This could be all you need for a great time in and out of bed.

Striptease
An erotic dance performance, striptease is the art of undressing gradually, either partly or fully. This routine is performed in a seductive, sexually suggestive manner. The teasing bit involves the slowness of undressing. The emphasis is on the act of undressing along with sensuous movements, rather than the state of being naked.

Pole dancing
This is a combination of dancing and gymnastics. It involves dancing sensually around a fixed vertical pole. Pole dance, today, is also recognised as a form of exercise and can be used as both an aerobic and anaerobic workout. A standard dance pole is a hollow steel or brass pole with a circular cross section, running from floor to ceiling. The diameter, 5cm (2 inches), allows it to be gripped easily with one hand.

Lap dancing
An erotic dance, generally coupled with striptease, lap dancing involves immediate contact or very close contact between the dancer and the watcher. In situations where the contact is only a very short distance — the focus is more on teasing the viewer. This dance is also known as couch dance.

* Names have been changed on request

Source: DNA Read the World